THE GURGLING COD

What are Mormons doing in the Times food section?

In fairness, it found the Cod in a fairly grumpy state, but Moskin's piece on the New Mormon Cuisine bothered me a little bit. You may know that one of the frontrunners for the Republican presidential nomination belongs to the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints, a relatively recent Christian sect with some unusual features and a rather colorful history. Some of the more unusual aspects of this church, or perhaps of its history, make some folks uneasy about the idea of a Mormon president. Recently, the Mormons have ramped up an aggressive advertising campaign around the theme of "I'm a Mormon," which seems to be aiming to make Mormonism seem more familiar and less threatening as one of their own is running for President. The timing, indeed, reopens some of the questions about the LDS church's status as a religious, rather than political entity that came up in the wake of Prop 8 in California. 

There needs to be a food section every Wednesday, I guess, but it's hard not to see Moskin's article as participating in the same kind of effort as the "I'm a Mormon" campaign, in that the aim of the article seems to be to make Times readers more comfortable and familiar w/ Mormon culture. In other words, the article will help Romney, to some degree. Some say Bruni had a hand in W's rise to the presidency -- perhaps Moskin can do the same. 

Ham

Via IAFB, a short film about ham:

 

CURED from UM Media Documentary Projects on Vimeo.

A suggestion for Patriots and Giants ownership -- skip Indy and just play in New Orleans

Deear Messrs Kraft, Mara, and Tisch-

Congratulations to you and to the Giant and Patriot families on your conference championships. Both of your franchises have had exciting seasons, and this Super Bowl matchup will have fans buzzing. 

There is some bad news. For your efforts, you have earned yourselves a trip to Indianapolis. Once in a while the NFL chooses to rotate the game out of the usual venues, and play it in a grim and inhospitable Rust Belt stadium. 

But look at all the fun you can have tailgating, as long as you follow these rules!

Nearby dining options include the worst Subway in Indy! A White Castle! Elsewhere in Indy is a "cajun creole" joint. Exactly. 

If you want to go upscale, there is Tavern on South, pushing the culinary envelope with filet mignon meatloaf! 

You see the situation. Indianapolis is a city where people like Asian fusion and McCormick and Schmick. Fortunately, there is a solution. You are people of means, and did not become the men you are by kowtowing to men of small minds and limited imagination. Here's what you do -- rent some jets, fly to New Orleans, and play a game there. Loser agrees to forfeit the Man's Super Bowl. 

In case you have forgotten, one stumble out of the Superdome and be eating like a king within minutes. A Ferdie or a Ralph at Mother's. A meal at Cochon and some snacks at Cochon Butcher. Take a streetcar, and a whole world opens up. Take a cab to Frankie and Johnnie's. Try that new burger place on Freret. Oysters from Acme and Cassamento's Stroll to and from your hotel sipping on an Abita. Get a muffaletta from Central Grocery and hide it in your jacket. Find someone with keys to the Supedome, put a sign on the marquee -"FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP TODAY." Cash-only general admission. Tee it up, play the game and send Rodger Goodell and Indy your regrets. 

You can thank me later, xo, The Gurgling Cod

Chocolate indulgence at Monticello

What the hell people: 

​Straight from the files of "Historical Shit That Can't Be Made Up," we woke up this morning to a pretty unbelievable email from the Thomas Jefferson Foundation with the subject line, "Taste: Chocolate at Monticello."

Yeah. Historical Guiteau Monday, engage! 

On the upside, "chocolate indulgence" did put me in mind of this clip, the which the Cod saw in the theater in 1979. That I did not think it was a big deal suggests that I was more naive or more sophisticated than I recall. 

Mac & Cheese starter

I don't know why they call it Mac & Cheese Starter -- it does just fine by isself. Seriously, it's got a fancyass cheeseeatingsurrendermonkey name, but you could be done making your first batch of bechamel twenty minutes from now. Melt a stick of butter in a pan add 8 tb of flour, stir until light brown, add 3 cups or so of milk, and stir to combine. It will look all weird for a minute, when you add milk, but it will smooth out. add a bunch of grated cheese, combine w/ cooked pasta, and you have got badass mac & cheese. Not. Complicated. 

Paula Deen riding things and encouraging moderation.

It's been almost 48 hours since I challenged Paula Deen, her associates, or fans to come up with evidence supporting her claim that she has "always encouraged moderation." The silence has been deafening, with one exception -- the Paula Deen Riding Things and Encouraging Moderation Tumblr!

Deen & class & region & gender

The Deen diabetes story gets more complicated here: 

Virginia Willis, a food writer in Atlanta, said the criticisms directed at Ms. Deen often reflect sexism and stereotyping about the South, in addition to food snobbery. “No one vilifies Michelin chefs for putting sticks of butter in their food,” Ms. Willis said. “But when a Southern woman does it, that’s tacky.” Contrary to popular belief, however, she said Ms. Deen’s fat-laden cooking does not in fact represent the apotheosis of Southern cuisine.

“Paula’s food often reflects modern cooking and convenience foods more than Southern tradition,” she said. “She feels like she cooks for ‘real people’ and for better or worse, that is how many people in this country choose to eat.”

An astute comment from Todd raised a similar issue, with more nuance. So, class, region, and gender are all on the table here. In strict terms, there is no class argument, in that Paula Deen cashed in her working-class cred the moment she inked a deal to shill Smithfield-branded that are the products of the labor of America's most desperate underclass. And restaurauteur turned corporate shill makes a pretty lousy friend to the working class. 

I've been suggesting that Deen represents a perversion of what's good about Southern food for some time now, but Acheson gets at the root of the issue better than I ever have. I don't think criticizing Deen's ethos is regional snobbery. More generally, if disliking shitty, unhealthy food = elitist, then pull the Silver Ghost around, James. 

The gender question is maybe the area where defenses like Willis's make the most sense. There is a double standard, and bodyshaming is a big part of that. The "what if this had happened to Mario" question is an interesting one. However, and this is important -- I don't recall seeing much along the lines of "fatty got diabetes, ha ha!" any more than I recall seeing people claim that ODB or Amy Winehouse got what they deserved for the choices they made. Where the criticisms came, and continue to come, is in the cynical opportunisim inherent in using this diagnosis as a rebranding opportunity. 

A challenge for Paula Deen fans

So the Times had Moskin write a thing on Deen. Evidently diabetus is right up there with Brooklyn stroller controversies when you want to get Times readers engaged: 

Evidently, "an interesting discussion" is NYTimesese for "shit is all hamhamcraycray." 

There is something vaguely unsettling about coming out as a diabetic, whilst announcing a new partnership w/ a diabetes drug co. on the Today Show, but that may be me. However, this is the moment that's the sticking point for the Cod: "But she said in an interview with the “Today” co-host Al Roker, “I’ve always encouraged moderation.”

This sounds a little bit like Andrew WK insisting that Franklin's Art of Virtue has always governed his behavior, but I'm willing to give it a chance -- in the comments, please share your favorite instance of Paula Deen encouraging moderation. Deen herself, Deen compadre Libbie Summers, Lady and Sons fans, etc, are all welcome.  Have at. 

 

Roll Tide -- early favorites for teabagging national championship?

Considering that NOLA and college football pop up in here a bit, the Cod feels an obligation to comment on the notorious post BCSTG Krystal Alabama Teabagging Incident the video is NSFW, but not for the first  bit, but throughout NSFYS (Not Safe For Your Soul). Basically, a bunch of Tide fans surround a passed out LSU fan, put garbage on him, taunt him, pick his nose, and eventually teabag him. A few thoughts and observations:

1) This is awful. All of it. 

2) Where were this bro's friends, or even other LSU fans? (Presumably even shellshocked LSU fans know better than to eat at Krystal, but still.)

3) Someone videotaped this all for close to five minutes. 

4) It's been, oh seven months since a team the Cod supports won a championship, but I don't recall an impulse to celebrate by rubbing my scrotum on a passed-out Canucks fan or anything.

5) This particular Krystal seems to take a rather laissez-faire approach to patron behavior. A Krystal employee appears at about the 3 minute mark, asks the Tide fans to stop harassing the comatose LSU fan, and then sort of wanders off. I would suggest that the management team of this Krystal have their crew read Danny Meyer's book on customer service. There is a point where an easygoing tolerance of drunk patrons shades into criminal negligence, and it's right about where your patron is too drunk to notice being teabagged. For instance, very hard to imagine the FOH staff at 11 Madison allowing this kind of thing to happen on their watch. 

6) This place has 45 reviews on Yelp. 

There ain't no Monday like a Guiteau Monday...

...'cause a Guiteau Monday don't stop. 

While folks are shooting one another in Applebee's parking lots in the 770, out West it's all about tricking for McNuggets: 

A Los Angeles woman was arrested last week for allegedly offering sexual favors at a Burbank McDonald's in exchange for Chicken McNuggets. The woman, Khadijah Baseer, was seen opening customers' car doors in the drive through late Wednesday night, according to the Burbank Leader. Baseer was allegedly offering to swap sexual favors for the fast food item. It is not known what kind of tricks she was allegedly offering to perform for what quantity of the chicken-y fried treats, or if different levels of sexual engagement would yield a larger box of nuggets. One witness reported Baseer's unique proposition to the authorities, and the woman was arrested on suspicion of prostitution.

Neither of these seems super appropriate for the holiday. However, I'd like to take a moment to call bullshit on this meme: "If (dead social activist X) were alive today, (he/she) would support (my cause y) because, (Z, it's awesome). A textbook example of this bullshit  via Eater. But try it! 

"If Rev. Wilberforce were alive today, he would stand with us in opposing unslightly windmills off of Cape Cod, because he cherished the dignity of human existence." 

"If Ralph Nader were alive today, he'd buy my free range eggs, because he wants his family, and all families, to be safe."