Criticism in the style of Epicurious.com recipe reviewers
"This movie was OK. I was hungry, so I got popcorn about half an hour in. Then I went into the wrong theater at the multiplex, and watched about 25 minutes of The Incredibles before I realized my mistake. By that time, I had lost the thread, so I played Zaxxon in the lobby until my friend was done seeing Million Dollar Baby for the third time. I don't think I would see Hotel Rwanda again."
Kings of Leon, Aha Shake Heartbreak:
"I think some of their songs are on that mix my friend made me, but I'm not sure, cause I lost the sheet with the songs on it. They're pretty good, though. I think."
Epicurious.com is a useful resource; less so the comments on the recipes like this one on a solid lentiles du puy:
A Cook from Boston, MA on 11/25/03
If you have a crowd that digs lentils, this is a really satisfying dish - but fussy eaters won't like it. A good substitute for bacon is, frankly - Bacos - just tie them into a bag of cheesecloth and take them out when the lentils are cooked. And I agree that french green lentils are the best ones to use. Also - it's worth taking the time to cook the carrots separately and add them at the end - the color combination is gorgeous.
Bacos? Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Fussy eaters won't like it when you deny them the fruit of the pig and replace it with a teabag of hate. I hope that my new hero, Jesus Camacho finds "A cook from Boston MA" and gets medieval on him. Things like this make me wonder about the advisability of a free press. Anyway, Tony Maws can tell you what you need to know about lentiles du puy.
"About Last Night" has directed readers your way.
Some advice. If you are going to shoot arrows, pick harder targets.
You also don't want to get into copyright problems with Epicurious.
The Internet offers the potential of a huge audience. Use power to do good.
Posted by: Illyria | Wednesday, 23 March 2005 at 09:34 AM