The manager of the Asheville Tourists sets a new standard for "tantrum."
Joe Mikulik, the Cod salutes you! Call it a childish outburst, and a bad example for the young Ashevillians in the stands, but it takes a man with some sand to transcend the traditional baseball heave-ho tantrum, making it into diamond version of the theatre of the absurd. If a standard Pinella tantrum is Julie Andrews, this is John Coltrane's "My Favorite Things."
If you'd like to try this at your local diamond, clip and save:
head-first slide into second;
2) uproot the base, show base to second-base umpire, and toss it;
3) grab the resin bag and fling it to the right-field bullpen;
4) confront plate umpire, kick dirt on the ump’s feet;
5) kick the batter’s box lines;
6) kick dirt on the plate;
7) drop to knees to further cover the plate by hand;
8) fire four bats from the dugout;
9) return to “clean” home plate with contents of a water bottle;
10) squat in the umpire position in a mock glance toward the mound;
11) spike the bottle on the plate.