If, like the Cod you find yourself in the doldrums, wallowing in the trough between the AVN awards and the Oscars, as the Ivan Lendl of professional football packs for Miaimi, there is good news -- the Food Network is having its own awards show. Click through for the full range of categories, but a few leap out:
• Play With Your Food: Artwork With an Edible Twist, recognizing one remarkable artist who incorporates food into their work
• Tasty Technology, new kitchen appliances that will change the way we cook
• “Professional Grade” Kitchen Appliance You Can’t Live Without (Viewers’ Choice)
• “Hot” Chocolate List, recognizing the hottest chocolatier in the country
• Food Hall of Fame: Tribute to Julia Child, television and food pioneer
• SUPER Market, presented to the grocery chain that has changed the way we shop
• Best Better Burger, recognizing a burger company with a mindful approach to their product and operation
• Edible Entrepreneurs, acknowledging individuals with a passion for food and an entrepreneurial spirit
• Funniest Food Festival, honoring the wackiest food festival in the country
First of all, is this really what FN viewers want? This is like the MTV movie awards, in a field where there are not really Oscars. As Chow points out, no chef of the year? Also, on a scale of hucksterism, this makes the XGames look like church league softball. "Professional Grade" kitchen appliance? I have to imagine that there is a tie-in with the automobile company that uses that slogan. More importantly, can Karen Finley bounce back from that unfortunate appearance with Bill Maher to be both the "hottest chocolatier" and the artist with an edible twist? If not, is that guy who puts horseheadsh in Plexiglas eligible? Otherwise, Edible entrepreneurs? I've met a few food entrepreneurs, and barring an Andean airplane situation, I'm not eager to know if I should be serving them with red or white. The stress and long hours make them tough.
And as far as food festivals go, we can save time, and give it to the Shrimp and Petroleum Festival right now. (MIDI zydeco on the homepage? So best!) Finally, while I am interested to see what scale of burger place wins the Mindful Burger award (the smart money is on Gere's, a spot where you go into order a burger, and Richard Gere demonstrates to you that you do not, in fact, want a burger at all, but to be freed from wanting a burger), the award category that makes you go hmmm award goes to "Super market -- the grocery chain that has changed the way we shop." You might find an early favorite in Mr. Livestrong's neck of the woods. However, I am backing a category-crushing dark horse -- the Bodega (via S/FJ):
Fesser--
Sorry abt yer Saints. To whom are you referring when you say "as the Ivan Lendl of professional football packs for Miaimi"? Manning? I don't get it.
Will you root for your Chicago Bears?
JDA
Posted by: jda | Thursday, 25 January 2007 at 02:49 AM