Evidently, the oceans are fucked.* On the other hand, plummeting biodiversity opens the gate for all sorts of charming locutions. Having recently attempted in my day job to use taxonomy as a way to introduce the arbitrary relation of the signfier and signified, I was pleased to see a new term for allied species:
Copes, the attorney general’s press secretary, declined to discuss the Fish Tales case. She did confirm that the office has told WingHouse, a popular Tampa Bay area chain, that “it needs to be more precise in describing to customers what it is offering.’’ WingHouse serves a “grouper teammate’’ sandwich that is swai, another Asian catfish.
If only this notion had emerged earlier -- Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan! Relax -- us and the chimps are teammates! With Oscar season rolling around, it does make one think of pairs of teammates that might make for disappointing substitutions-- imagine ordering sliced Brady on a roll, only to discover you were eating a "Brady Teammate," the Vrabel.
*I did not comment at the time, and now the article is reserved for those Times Select high-rollers, and my Lexis-Nexis connection has sand in its cooch, but really now, when the headline is "Sea Sends Distress Call in One-Note Chowders" is it really quite the thing to have an, um, one note chowder receipt tacked on to the article?
Update: Mr. Sorbet Trio conjured a working link to the distressed chowder story.