Despite appearances to the contrary, the Cod is about uniting, not dividing. This is a blog that seeks to be the change it wishes to see in the world. With that in mind, something we can all agree on -- Trump Steaks = Indisputable Besteverness.*
But it gets so much better. The innate topness of Trump Steaks would be enough on its own, but there is so much more -- the sweet melody of the phrase "available exclusively at the Sharper Image." It's like drinking from the Fountain of Youth. Trump's on the top of his game, making it easy for the kids at Spy. FYC are covering the Buzzcocks. The Cod's lettering in track and still a brunette. Bob Stinson is alive. Bill Clinton is a young governor from Arkansas with 8 years of presidentness in front of him. The Bruins play hockey in May. In the Garden.
Better still, the steak shilling touched off a cross-generational blowhard tycoon donnybrook. Trump disses Mark Cuban for putting too much pressure on his Mavericks, who made an inglorious first round exit after league-best regular season record, and Cuban fires back:
"I guess Donald is still upset that he can't afford to buy an NBA team. No doubt the cash requirements of more than $10,000 created a problem for him. Hopefully he will sell enough Trump Steaks, Trump Perfume and Trump Dolls to save some money and buy a team. Then we can see how he does. Until then he is a wannabe that needs to get a new spiel."
Diz-amm. The Boy Tycoon with the blog that goes boom here in the Oughts takes on the 80s icon of crapulence. It's like they brought back Time Pilot, instead of Tecmo Bowl. Sometimes the Internet reminds you why it's good to be alive.
*Do not deny yourself a viewing of the special video message.