Gifts

A series of missives from Cod operative Addison reveals that it is a fine line between clever and stupid. On the one hand, now you can shit gold. Yes, actual  gold tablets that you eat, for the thrill of having sparkles in your poo. The person who would use this product and look forward to its denoument, has nothing to live for anyway, so why bother.

On the other hand, the twelve bird turducken has the genius of being willing to go further than the other guy.* This is a Christmas centerpiece that weighs more than a healthy third-grader, needs eight hours to cook, and could feed the active rosters and coaching staffs of the Broncos and Chargers after they get done playing on Christmas Eve.
*I'm thinking here of Kurtz' excursus on the Viet Cong towards the end of Apocalypse Now. What's more Christmasy than that?