Avery - unsolicited - stepped in front of a bank of microphones in the visitors' dressing room yesterday morning and said: "I'm really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight."
Granted, classy guys do not use the phrase "sloppy seconds" to refer to former paramours, (Cuthbert is now dating Calgary Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf) but Sean Avery and classy are worlds apart. The reaction from the NHL was surprising -- an indefinite suspension for "conduct detrimental to the game." Seriously? The footage below suggests that Phaneuf could express his displeasure person-to-person. Let's hope that Gary Bettman remains unaware of this backpack rap oddity, a vision of this conflict's Helen of troy, enjoying a bowl of custard, or they, too may face suspension from the NHL.
Roosevelt Franklin "Elisha Cuthbert" (bonus track) Bare Food, 2006.
PS: Is there anything more hockey than a highlight of checks and scraps scored to a house remix of Carmina Burana? Conversely, Avery gets a sleptupon late Ramones track: