Cookout- Burgers with a side of American exceptionalism

This post is my way of honoring a commitment to my friend and colleague Bruce Twister, the only dude on the Early American grind with an actual alter ego, who had asked for pix of the Cookout packaging.

So, Cookout is the vaguely cultish East coast burger chain that is not Five Guys, though it is like Five Guys in the way it makes you lonely and dreaming of the West Coast. But it's a decent enough little burger. I had mine with bacon. It was tasty. 

With a big but. The jams on the PA are from a Christian XM station. Whatever. If Chang wants to blast Pavement at you, well, we just covered that. If Cookout wants to bump Amy Grant, you can go to Wendy's if you don't like it. But. The packaging has slogans! With Bible verses! (Click to enlarge.) It's possible to be sort of nonplussed by this on a "I don't expect cheeseburgers when I go to a house of worship" level, but it's a little weirder than that, actually: 

On the bag, "THANK YOU GOD FOR AMERICA." The supporting text is Proverbs 3:5-6. If you are rusty, that's 

[5] Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
[6] In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

On the onion rings, "GOD BLESS THE USA" The supporting text here is Galatians 6:10, which if you're scoring at home, is: 

[10] As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

The drink cups? "GOD BLESS AMERICA,"  Proverbs again, 1:7 this time, which, for your information, is

 [7] The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Keeneyed readers will notice that the texts supporting these claims have not that much to do with the text in all caps. Historically minded readers will be scratching their heads at this point, too. The King James Bible dropped in 1611, and the USA debuted in 1776, so a reference to the USA in 1611 would be like, oh, Travis McGee listening to a Marlins game on the deck of the Busted Flush. Impossible, in other words. Unless, America (or the USA -- same diff) is the place the Lord ordained for Christians way back in those demo versions of the KJV written in Hebrew and Aramaic. Well, maybe. In a week when food, politics and religion are getting tossed around a bit, it's worth considering. Other times, it might be, you know, a bit much, and a reason to hold out for the next Five Guys. 

Comments

[Marcel Winsit]

That Bruce Twister is quite a guy.

[James]

Wow! Several thoughts:
1) my wife and I thought about opening a Jesus themed restaurant, looks like we were beaten to it. Do they have cross-shaped potatoes ? We'd call ours 'crucifries'. Do they have curcifries?
2) five guys beats in-n- out to a pulp, frealz.
3) huge props for referencing Travis McGee - my dog was named after him!