David Roth on Fieri:
T. S. Eliot, Hunter Thompson, and Sam Sifton could all find something to applaud in the descriptive power brought to bear on the Ringer burger: “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, crispy rojo onion ring, Bourbon Brown Sugar BBQ sauce, LTOP (Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, and Pickle), SMC (Super-Melty Cheese), and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche.”
Also, FOC David Shields, asskicking polymath extraordinaire:
Dishes once popular but now completely gone: blanched celery conserve. Gardeners only contrived the celery we know at the end of the 18th century. The mid 19th century saw a fashion for white foods, so blanching the celery by mounding dirt around the stalks made it commonly available in market. Cheap and abundant loaf sugar made it a favorite preservative of both fruits and vegetables. Only sugared tomatoes--"tomato figs"--were more popular than celery conserves in the 1850s among sugared vegetables.
Get on his level right hurr.
Also, speaking of our Gamecock neighbors, can we all just chill out about a Sakerlina checking out Bruce Ellington? If you are a woman who is employed in a restaurant that serves cheesburgers, chances are this kind of "eyefucking" is about as constant as 80s hits on the XM radio. And if we are in the mood to be real, Bruce Ellington looks good in tight pants w/ his shirt off.