THE GURGLING COD

Taco Beef, Outerburough edition

October is shaping up as a good month for taco beef. The same wizard who blasted Esquina for failure  to keep it real (personally, I knew as soon as I saw the stacks of Taaschen books behind the bar), is back at it:

Now comes a stunning development on the eastern front: in about two weeks a taco truck will be parking on (get ready for it) North 7th Street and Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg. It will be manned by comedian (and front man of the Jewish) Jeffrey Jensen and Bad Wizard singer Curtis Brown, who conducted research at the trucks on Roosevelt Avenue.                                                                                                                  Brown tells us he's cooking “less skanky” versions of the classics: pulled pork, roasted chicken and beef, Baja-style fish, plus menudo soup (with tripe) and corn chowder for winter.

You may want to let that "less skanky" rattle around your brain for a while. Consulting the Periodic Table of Skank,  developed by Linus Pauling and Appolonia in 1985, indicates that your skank exposure, expressed in parts of skank per million is likely to be at least one thousand times higher  at the corner of North 7th St. and Bedford Ave. than it is at a traditional taqueria. And even if he means skank not in the sense of a PBR-addled Bard 05 alum falling out of her American Apparel tube top, but in the sense of a safe, fun taco, what the fuck is he talking about?  You are less likely to  get a parasite eating food prepared on a truck by the vocalist of a band called Bad Wizard and a comedian than you are in a regular taqueria?

Beef is in the air

The previous went up in haste, as I had pressing forelock-tugging business in the real world. If I'd spent longer, I might have dialed back the Cheesecake Factory rhetoric, though the larger question seems to be why a paper like the NYDN needs to have its critic review a place like Tailor. Not to say that RG should confine herself to restos with a Giants in HD on demand and without apology policy,* but to drop a bad review on a spot like this on the grounds that the food was not normal enough seems as if it must be a way to respond to the (perceived) tastes of NYDN readers.

But I digress -- far beefier is the big old brisket the lads at Eater and Bun publicist Steven Hall are batting back and forth. First the lads drop seven tips for having a party (like the one at Bun last night) not suck, then Hall comes through with a point-by-point rejoinder.** Scholars of the Reformation might recall that the Catholic Church did not come back with interpolated responses to Martin Luther's 95 theses -- they stat back to let the whole thing blow over, and if it were not for that pesky invention of printing, it might have. By way of analogy, probably a better bet to let the conversation drift on to Momofuku 3: Reloaded, or whatever Chang has up his sleeve this week, than to keep the thing in the air. As Juvenal once observed, "who handles PR for the PR guys?"

*Never fear -- such a spot exists not far from Tailor. You need look no further than Ludlow Street for safe space to watch the antics of the younger Manning, in an environment free of miso butterscotch and cider braised artichokes.

**Don't miss the comments, either, where the c-word is used. Zomg!

New Orleans Beef

Crikey! If you like Of Montreal, make sure not to mention their hookup with Outback Steak House* in front of their frontman, Kevin Barnes:

our show was a lot of fun. the highlights for me were the debut of the three headed tiger bull and the first live performance of "the past is a grotesque animal". the low point was when a group of misguided creeps chanted "steak,steak, steak" after we played "wraith pinned to the mist". it just proves,no matter how much you want to add something positive to the world, there will always be people who try to bring you down. not to say our selling of a song to a corporate steak house was something positive, but sometimes you have to suck a little dick to get by. that's just a hard fact of life. but really, of all the evil organizations out there, it's hard to imagine the thought process behind heckling of Montreal. oh well.

Word. New Orleans Indie types -- please go heckle Freeport McMoRan, or Ruth's Chris instead. Leave self-proclaimed indie cocksuckers alone. George Carlin's character articulates a similar philosophy in Jay & Silent Bob, but I think he was joking. Also, did Elf Power steal your shift key?  More generally, if you want to chant "Steak" at a rock show and not ruffle the singer's.... ruffles, see when you can catch up with the Rev.

ps- If anyone has an mp3 of "Eat Steak" send it, and I'll post it on up. The commercial is here, btw.

*Make sure safe search is on before you do a Google Image search for "Outback Steakhouse."

Update: The Revernend Horton Heat "Eat_Steak" (a tip of the fin to Ms. Fury)

Other Update: Do not watch the clip. You will get the Outback theme lodged in your head like it was Khan. If you find yourself at your local Outback, a Glock in the waistband of your Depends, don't blame me.