Yes, yes, indeed, it has been a long time since the Cod rapped at you here, in the TL;DR place, intstead of on the Twitters. But! For one thing, nobody reads or writes food blogs anymore, esp not now that Eater hired all of the restaurant critics. For another thing, any and all future meals I write about will all be at The Pig, in Chapel Hill, NC, where I enjoyed three exceptional lunches this weekend. The Cod will be taking all future meals there, until he is ejected, or dies of gout. Spencer put me on to the brisket, and I returned for pastrami and Vietnamese pork cheek. I die. Even brought some of their hotdogs home.
But! I digress. Guiteau Monday seems to be the only thing that gets this blog party started these days, which is a shame, but something like this makes it impossible not to:
"Brussels sprouts so good you'll... never mind, you already did." What else did you expect on a rainy March Guiteau Monday?
So, thanks to The Calabrian Magistra for inspiring me to fire up this space. But with something this awesome, how could you even not? If you are not a big fan of post-45 literature -- and who is, anyway? -- you might miss the reference. While it might seem like "somebody's choice" is a foolproof name for a foodstuff, as in President's Choice house brand ice cream and such, even if you have an aunt named Sophie who is a veritable Segovia of dumplings, it's still not such a hot idea for a name for dumplings, because spoiler alert. You don't need to hire a fancy brand manager to tell you that "Holocaust" is not what you want people to think of when they think of your dumpling brand. But that's why they call it Guiteau Monday.
Just when you think you might make it to kickoff with a Monday that is Guiteau-free the forces of Terrible say "not so fast." Via FOC TWM, news of Trader Joe's frozen poutine. Frozen french fries are terrible at home. Can't imagine that either gravy (or "Beef Sauce" for Trader Joe) or cheese curds take well to freezing. It's not so much that this is something to be avoided at all costs, as an item that discredits an entire grocery chain. If they allow this to happen, who knows what what else? Is the Trader Joe's store brand of pumpkin pie spice made entirely out of ground cicada corpses? No reason to be confident the answer is no. In any case, your fair warning to keep the entire fuck away from Trader Joe's, and to remember that you can only ever hope to contain Guiteau Monday.
What could be better than BBQ whipped up by a cable TV network?
It's not even a Food Network "personality," it's just the network, cooking you baby back ribs. For one, it's a cut that not many BBQ folks I respect take seriously, and for two, even in the picture, it looks more like spare ribs from a Chinese takeout place.
Granted, it's "clan" w/ a "c," not "klan" with a "k,"but still it does not seem like the very best word. "Family," "operation," "concern," "cabal," etc, all seem like better choices. It is, however, a reminder that unlike professors, Guiteau Monday does not get the summer off!