Through the good offices of Mr. Hall. Fake Guy Fieri drops some knowledge w/r/t homophobia and Notre Dame. And his hair is better than Michael Warner's! The whole Teo thing really only makes sense if he was making up a fake girlfriend as a way to get out of having a real girlfriend, which would not be a problem were it not for football's culture of compulsory heterosexuality. (Case in point: mention the possiblity that Teo is gay, and watch Domers rip you for "accusing" him of being gay. You can accuse someone of racketeering, which is a crime, but you cannot "accuse" someone of enjoying Lillet, which is not a crime.) But! most alarmingly, the Old Skool Pepperoni Pizza Eggrolls that I presumed to be a satiric concoction of EDSBS turn out to be all too real:
It's early yet, so let's call this a contender for Guiteau Monday.
So, this is what the gentlemen in the digital camo are fighting for? Sounds like Guiteau Monday to me. On a somewhat related note, Papa John's is threatening similar measures. In the case of Applebee's and Papa John's, shitty fast casual riblets and shitty pizza is no great loss. Recently, however, Aziz Ansari pointed out that the problem w/ the Chick-fil-A vs gays situation is that Chick-fil-A is very tasty - as he observed, if it were Long John Silver's nobody would care.
More generally, it's interesting to the Cod that 2012 has been a year where fast food has become politicized, but in terms of gay marriage and health care, rather than on its own, rather dubious, terms.
The Cod has returned relatively unscathed from a visit to The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. As an addition to the Shitshow Bucketlist, TWLOCP can definitely hang witip h Mardi Gras, Derby infield, Indy 500 infield, the Head of the Charles, etc. Hand to God, there was a trailer hitch stripper pole/trampoline hybrid.
The most alarming thing, however, came from the folks at Miracle Whip, recently seen suggesting that hating on Miracle Whip = being homophobic, or something. There were foks going around handing out little sandwiches, looking like they should belong to some sort of cult, but a really shitty cult, because they were shitty little sandwiches. Little, b/c served inside koozies, and shitty, b/c made with Miracle Whip. Even considering that TWLOCP foodshed approaches The Road depths (the Cod may or may not have feigned support for Romney to cadge a hot dog from adjacent College Republicans), this was an easy snack to say no to, esp in consideration of the message on the koozie. Bad advice in general, especially so in Jacksonville. Stay tuned for better food news soon, and those of you in Sandy's wheelhouse stay safe on this Guiteau Monday.
Sometimes, life gives you a gift, like a ready-made Guiteau Monday post that's as easy as command-C, command-V:
EIGHT MULTI-TALENTED CELEBRITIES ANNOUNCED FOR NEW SEASON OF RACHAEL VS. GUY: CELEBRITY COOK-OFF
Season Two premieres Sunday, January 6th, 2013 at 9pm ET/PT on Food Network
Rachael Ray and Guy Fieri return to coach their teams for ultimate bragging rights
NEW YORK - October 15, 2012 - The cast of the second season of Food Network primetime seriesRachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off is revealed with a roster of star-studded and diverse competitors, which battle it out in this fast-paced and fun culinary competition. The all-star lineup includes: Chilli (member of pop/R&B group TLC), Gilbert Gottfried (actor, comedian), Cornelia Guest (designer, author, philanthropist), Dean McDermott (actor, reality television star), Kathy Najimy (actress, Sister Act), Hines Ward (former NFL player; Super Bowl Champion and MVP), Carnie Wilson (singer, Wilson Phillips) andJohnny Weir (two-time Olympic Figure Skater, three-time U.S. National Champion).This 6-episode, top-rated series, once again features Emmy®-winning talk show host and Food Network icon Rachael Ray and best-selling cookbook author and successful restaurateur Guy Fieri, as they coach and mentor the eight multi-talented celebrities. The second season premieres on Sunday, January 6th, 2013 at 9pm ET/PT.
In Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off, the contestants are divided into Team Rachael and Team Guy, as they face intense weekly challenges that are sure to have them working, fighting and laughing along the way. The losing team must send its two bottom-rated contestants to face off against each other, with one member sent home each week. The last celebrity standing at the end of the season wins bragging rights and a cash donation to their favorite charity. Season one winner was Lou Diamond Phillips for Team Rachael.
Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off is produced by Jane Street Entertainment.
An exchange w/ an Alinea co-owner garnered this gem:
If Mr Kokonas is correct, panning a restaurant you have never been to, right down to imagined encounters with the FOH people, is the most depressing thing I've heard since pretending to be a swinger on Flckr. The day is young, but we'll call it a Guiteau Monday.
So, Walmart is on Facebook. They ask "what's missing from our Labor Day grilling list?"
Gosh... Walmart... Labor Day... things that are missing. I know! A FUCKING UNION is what's missing from your Labor Day grilling list, or failing that, a business model that does not rely quite so much on eight yearolds in China making crap for Americans. The Cod might be cranky because Labor Day is just another work day in this rabidly anti-union state. But for fuck's sake, you think Walmart's social media team would have the sense to leave Labor Day the fuck alone. It's just another Monday, and most definitely a Guiteau Monday at that.