Blush not: Why do they hate us?

Dunno. But I bet the nine-hundred-fifty dollar wicker backpacks are not helping. The Nantucket backpack is a warmup for the peek around "Sag Harbor's most tasteful store." Evidently, the Times stylebook is changing, as "tasteful" is clearly some kooky rhyming slang for "indescribably vulgar." Store proprietor Mona

Nerenberg entertains in the shop's pea-grit courtyard. ''I've had more parties there than anywhere else,'' she says. ''It's like the South of France in the middle of Sag Harbor.'' Her soirees are always illuminated by candlelight. ''One of my customers found this nickel-plated lantern'' -- $450 -- ''for me in Mexico. It's about three feet high, which makes it very dramatic. I like to group a few of them together.''

$1,200 worth of mexican lanterns? That's, like, enough for a whole backpack, with enough left over for some plates by "British Ceramist Brickett Davida." No disrespect, Mr. Meloy, but that "-ist" suffix is rapidly becoming synonymous with "wanker." DJ/DeeJay? Sure. "Turntablist?" Less so.  Also:

 Nerenberg likes to drag an antique dining table outside and place gleaming, silver-plated pitchers of vodka gimlets along its length. To make a gimlet, combine 1 1/2 ounces Grey Goose or Absolut vodka, 3 tablespoons fresh lime juice and 3 tablespoons Rose's lime juice in a shaker. Shake and serve over ice.

Similarly, the Cod likes to drag an upholstered recliner out on to the porch and use a cooler full of Schlitz as an ottoman. If you do want to make a gimlet, leave the Grey Goose for the babysitter to take to prom, and throw the limes at the neighbors. What you need is gin, (Chris Kimball says Gordon's is fine, so there) and Rose's. Follow the directions on the Rose's. The so-called vodka gimlet is  a fraud of  chicken caesar proportions. That way lies the Denver Omelette, but with white radishes, fleur de sel and $35 votive holders instead of ham, onions and peppers. You  have to imagine these guys could get you a better deal on votives. Finally:

 After dinner, Nerenberg gives guests a little time to relax before she puts on the ''Summer of Sam'' soundtrack, cranking it up on her Bose 151 SE outdoor speakers (in white, natch); $278. Go to www.bose.com. Like all good party givers, she knows it's not a real party until the dancing begins.

I checked it out, and it is certainly a cromulent collection of tunes focusgrouped to get the heirs of the Greatest Generation shaking their botoxed asses, but you'd think that folks would get tired of the "The Best of My Love" eventually, and the party, and dancing will stop. Mona, allow me to suggest this beguiling Fannypack remix available from Mr. Fake ID  the next time you drag those tables out into your pea-girt yard. Alternatively, you could do far worse than to borrow some old new jack swing CDs from your aesthetician, but give that soundtrack a rest. I thank you. The Herricanes thank you.

Comments

[Rose's Lime]

Two weeks ago I was served an Old Fashioned with stirred fruit and SCOTCH! In GEORGIA NO LESS! This country has muddled every cocktail but mine.

Thanks for helping keep it real Mr. Lipschlitz.

[spencer]

DAMN GEORGIANS!
WHAT with their crumby cocktails and runaway brides!
straight to hades with the lot of 'em!

[grumpy dwarf]

WTF was that thing? Wasn't it supposed to be vaguely related to FOOD? Why, then, should I care that a celebrity has gone to cooking school? The fucking thing was a laundry list of hideous, style-less bits of tatter that I'm supposed to feel inadequate for not having. I know it's for advertisers, duh, but how exactly is that end served by so neatly re-hashing press release?

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