Artizzle fo shizzle

The Artisanal e-newsletter often has something that rewards the vigilant reader, if not always exactly as they might hope. Here Terrence Brennan fetishizes heirloom tomatoes (don't tell Max) only to drown them in vinaigrette, like he was Michael Douglas and the tomatoes were Glenn Close. First of all, if the appeal of heirloom tomatoes is their incredible variety, wouldn't it matter which heirloom tomato you used? Head to an antique store and ask for 5 pounds of heirlooms, and see what happens. Also, if I were buying beefsteak tomatoes in January at the Super Bear Supermarket in Juneau, Alaska, I might treat them like this, but it seems like a terrible thing to do to an August tomato that costs as much as a steak. More generally, you have to hand it to the Man. First of all, he sells us on supermarket tomato varieties that have the taste and texture of breast implants, then after several decades of that, the Man persuades us to pay a premium for ugly and misshapen fruit instead. If only this heirloom notion could be expanded to other fields. For instance, John C. Reilly might get more work if there was a vogue for heirloom actors.