Lobster Bitch III: The Decrustation

Trevor Corson is on this WF-lobster story like shell on an oyster. His TSLOL has all the deets on the humane ways the processed lobster Whole Foods will continue to sell will die. The whole post is well worth a read, but best of all is the Crusta-Stun. "Crusta-Stun?" you say. "Did Matthew Barney release a followup to the Cremaster cycle while I was waiting in line at the Shake Shack? In fact, the Crusta-Stun is a box for electrocuting lobsters, or if you have a bunch to off, consider the continuous flow model. If electricity seems banal, or if you are wary of having the lights go dim just before supper, consider the Avure HHP, which simulates what would happen if you put lobsters in the Marianas Trench if  it were three times deeper. Conveniently, this process separates the lobster from the shell. Corson has a foto in his post, but it looks too much like the pictures jackasses wave outside of Planned Parenthood for me to reproduce it here. And, the kicker:

"In 2005, the Maine Lobster Promotional Council commissioned a survey on people's attitudes toward lobster. Only 15 percent of Americans, mostly in the Northeast, qualified as 'traditionalists' who wanted their lobsters alive. An equally small number, just 13 percent, objected to the retail sale of live lobsters for reasons of cruelty. For Whole Foods, the smart business decision is to target the silent majority -- the 50 percent or so of Americans who would love to buy fresh lobster if only it were easier to prepare."

For Whole Foods, switching to processed, packaged lobster meat will earn them far more money than live lobsters ever did. At the same time, they are presenting it as an ethical choice, which will earn them maximim moral points.

You can read Corson's whole Boston Mag article here. If you are feeling old-fashioned, TSLOL has instructions on how you can kill lobsters humanely without these contraptions.
 

Comments

[cinetrix]

How long do you think it will take for Mudbugs 2: Cajun Justice to come out once the crawfish crop recovers? Crawfish: like lobsters, only smaller and more defenseless.

[la_depressionada]

wouldn't it be great if you could force feed live lobsters through a funnel made of caspian sturgeon to shackled geese?

[Fesser]

I'll put my whole team on it.