Have yourself a cranky little Christmas

If the media are to be believed, cooking is, like, so hot right now. How this distinguishes the current day and age from the intervening millennia since our species graduated from raw nuts and berries I do not know, nor do I know what will happen when bathing, or some other human necessity, becomes the thing, but under the circumstances, I thought I might presume to offer a few thoughts on cooking-related gifts.

Two  issues complicate giving gifts for the cook. First, a gift should be something the recipient wants, but would be unlikely to purchase for themselves. Health issues aside, a carton of Marlboros for the smoker on your list is a lame gift, because it is essentially like giving them cash. There are people who can give other people cash, but usually it is a gift that works better across generations or social hierarchies than between peers. Second of all, cooking is a pursuit where, if you are married, a large amount of the stuff you use comes to you via gifts. Two unfortunate circumstances can follow -- for married folks, the  batterie de cuisine is often a reflection of the whims of your wedding guests, and worse, there are single folks who are serious cooks, but absent the shakedown of a wedding registry, are forced to cook their way through The Cooking of Southwest France with a knife they found in an alley and pans from the hardware store.

That said, a few more specific thoughts. Cookbooks are safe,  but kind of like ties. You can always have more, but you probably already have more than you need. If you go this route, at least create the illusion of doing more than wandering into Barnes and Noble and grabbing the shiniest one from an end cap. If you know that you ave a chef with specific ambitions, a selection from the doorstop-ethnic category of cookbooks, bundled with appropriate spices would be nice. The doorstop-ethnic is my name for the largish cookbook that promises a more or less comprehensive coverage of a world or regional cuisine. Diana Kennedy for Mexico, Madhur Jaffrey for India, Marcella Hazan for Italy, and even Julia Child for France, plus appropriate epazotes, curries, oreganos, or quatre epices would be a reasonable combination. If you live in a regular part of America, or have been banned from Dean & DeLuca for fighting, Penzeys offers a solid array of spices.

One surprise hit for me last year was a digital platform scale. The one I scored was square,  rather than round, but it is a real convenience to have -- in the kitchen, we're making meals, not vaccines, but it is helpful to have recourse to weight as well as volume measurements. Better still, this variety takes up almost no space, and can be stored with your cutting boards. Speaking of which, you could do worse than to give an active cook a new cutting board or two. Even the theoretically more sanitary plastic ones do not improve with extended use.

If you think that two people who love each other and decide to form a household deserve support, even if they cannot or choose not to celebrate a marriage, consider knives. It is sad that in more and more states, domestic partners are not eligible for health insurance. Compounding this injustice, unmarried cooks are 37% more likely to injure themselves using the aforementioned crappy, dull knife they found in an alley. More than most things in the kitchen, knives are all or nothing. Either you have a rusty Ginsu, or you have a brace of Wusthofs chilling in a tropical hardwood block on your counter, because you are married. There is a middle ground. Dexter-Russell likely makes the knives they use in your favorite restaurant. I've had one for about a year, and have been really impressed with it. You could get judicious selection of them for less than what a fancy bottle of whiskey costs. And, inexplicably, now available with a camo handle. The bachelors, bachelorettes, and homosexuals on your list will thank you.

And lest we forget, the clam ram.

That's all I have-- feel free to share your own ideas in the comments.

Comments

[Addison]

Oh Mr. Egg Man:

http://www.fantes.com/egg_utensils.htm#cuber

http://www.amazon.com/World-Cuisine-Egg-Topper/dp/B000ENIYLA/sr=1-10/qid=1166627058/ref=sr_1_10/104-1375305-2148712?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden

[Eater]

Here is a list of ideas for the "nanogastronome" -- some smart, some silly, but personally I'd be happy to have any of them to play with. If I needed a knife and I got an antigriddle instead though I would be mad.

[BK]

A nice French-Canadian hockey fight video should please at least one cook on your list. I have two old VHS tapes' worth that look much like the above pic. Those old batailles générales are classic, served with some Sleemans and a side of poutine.

[Fesser]

Hockey fights? I took that picture last weekend at Dean & DeLuca.

[max]

There is still debate over the relative sanitariness of wood and plastic cutting boards, btw., but the one advantage of the latter is that you can throw it in the dishwasher.

[dubarry]

a good mandolin. it's something that people really don't buy for themselves.

also, we got this mini garlic cuber from williams sonoma, a bitch to clean, but makes the most entrancing micro-cubes.

and those italian paper baking dishes so you can lay some pannetone and pan d'oro on the deserving.