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Saratoga Slim

When I was a cub, I useta do restaurant reviews for a city rag so poor they couldn't sport me to go to nice places on the QT. So we'd agree with the restaurant before my visit that I (+1 of course) would be comp'd -- and if the food was shite, I simply wouldn't write a review. Wouldn't you know it: I was always treated like Elvis, and the food was always as spectacular as Restaurant Girl's topside. I'd occasionally even sweet talk the joint into buying some ad space. I knew, of course, that I was whoring myself, but I was 22, and getting laid while getting paid. WTF's not to like?

Get a working bullshit meter, folks, that's all.

And hey, Restaurant Girl -- I'll be your wingman anytime, baby.


"accessible." ah yes, i used to be accessible too. all access. yes, uh huh. i, too, used to assess whether people "reached their goals." (that's where the tips were.)

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