It's a cupcake, not a choice

I would pretty much do what this lady tells me, because she could totally kick my ass, among other reasons. But The Gurgling Cod heartily endorses and disseminates this hearty beatdown  of cupcake* day. Cupcake day? Yes, the day where you give people cupcakes, and then when they ask whose birthday it is, you say "it is nobody's  b/c the cupcake represents an aborted fetus." Fun, and logical! I share Ms. Kara's preference for cupcakes and unborn children that are gay and covered in frosting, but I will go one better and suggest that the sane, pro-life majority roll out the Missing Sister Latte Project. It's real easy. If you are in college, or high school, and you are buying a coffee, buy and extra one and don't drink it. When people ask you who it's for, tell them, "it's for all the women who aren't in school because they are at home taking care of children they had but didn't want because of shitty or non-existent sex ed programs, and draconian restrictions on abortion. Now what's the occasion for your little cupcakes there, sweetheart?"

*Even when not enlisted in the service of a contemptible ideology, can we all agree that cupcakes, like bacon items and sleeve tatts, need a rest?

Comments

[Jay Howard]

Dear Sir/Madam: I thought that cupcakes themselves were the target of the ire. Imagine my shock when it turned to be just another canard of the cult of death, which is the inevitable telos of secular humanism. However, you do manage to recover somewhat with the postscript:

"Even when not enlisted in the service of a contemptible ideology, can we all agree that cupcakes ...need a rest?"

only to capsize with a nonessential clause that either shows your position to be hopelessly enfiladed or, as I have faith in you, an in-you-face cautel:

"like bacon items and sleeve tatts"

I am not sure what a sleeve tatt is but I aver that bacon items are to the carnivore as Xylenes are to the juvenile delinquent.

Thanking you in advance,

Jay Howard

[Hugh]

Did you, JBF, just say that bacon items needed a rest? Wow. Think progress. Amen.

[The Gurgling Cod]

@Jay: I like the cut of your jib.
@ Hugh: Not so much bacon per se, (or 5 & 10) as bacon-related items that are supposed to be funny b/c they are bacon-related.