THE GURGLING COD

You best be at the dance down on 14th Street*

Speaking of NYC, a call from the Pickler altered me that the beady-eyed bots from the Union Square Greenmarket had seen something  about an event at his booth, alluded to at a website called the Gurgling Claude (possibly Gurgling Clod), involving a book signing at the Greenmarket, and expressed consternation, lest the book be unfoodrelated. Rest assured, the Cod has written no book**, and is not authorized to sign on behalf of Gerry Cheevers. The Gurgling Cod, will, however, be at Rick's Pick's stall at the Union Square Greenmarket this Wednesday from 3-6 pm, and eager to discuss pickles, obscure Bruins of the 70s, and Bush I era rap music. I will not be selling any books. I will also not be selling calico sachets filled with herbal Viagra, Stinger missiles in sustainably harvested bamboo crates, or copies of the Jamie Oliver sex tape.

**Chris Onstad illustrated one by some other guy, though.

Midtown dining ideas?

One of the lads from my day job should be heading to NYC for the weekend of Dec. 12th. I don't get above 14th if I can help it, and his thing is in midtown. Any ideas for an early dinner? Close to Times Square is better, but he can get around pretty quickly:

Trail Mix is people!

Or, not. After all, they make puppy chow for puppies, and ferret chow for ferrets, so why not "Student Food"?

Paula Deen hit in face with ham!

It's what it sounds like. Paula Deen hit in the face with a ham. It's like the half of what I'd ask the Make a Wish Foundation for that does not involve the cast of 8 Femmes in a Pinzgauer.

Infant. It's what's for dinner.

A hip-hop version of A Modest Proposal? It is most definitely a Guiteau Monday:

Free Sam Sifton!

Saying that just to get a jump, because Sam Sifton, who pulled the New Media 2.0 = America's Paper of Record merged w/ the Butterball Turkey Hotline joker, will need a good lawyer after he rides up to Marblehead and stabs this guy in the neck:

I am a pretty good cook, but I am a bit flummoxed. My in-laws are coming for Thanksgiving. They want a whole fillet of beef tenderloin and a turkey. I can cook both at the same time if I have to — big professional Wolf stove — but would prefer not to. I can of course cook the beef the night before or morning of and re-heat, but EEEK! I am averse to the idea of re-heating such an expensive piece of meat. Am I just nuts? if I reheat, any recommendations? Tips? Advice? JJS, Marblehead, Massachusetts

What is this guy telling us? There is no problem, other than dude wants to tell us about his stove. "Dear Diners Journal: when I climb out of my Cayenne at the end of a long day, sometimes my wife, who is scarcely half my age, presses her supple, yet firm breasts against me as I attempt to use my instant-read thermometer to check the temperature of the magret." Sifton's answer is polite, but I hope he's on the Fung Wah with a sharp knife right now.

Cooking and Cussing

There are those who feel there is entirely too much cussing in this corner of the Internet. However, that the word "cussing" creeps in indicates that the Cod makes his living in a swear-averse environment, and must put the extra cusses on the internet, so that, at least, the epithets he hurls at jaywalking troglodytes, some of whom, statistically, will be currently being 'Fessered are simple, rather than compound, cusses. That said, peep my revolutionary plan to save publishing with cusses, and more important, check Balk's bistek au f-bomb. Worth noting that generally speaking, most cookbooks do not have many swears in them, but most restaurant kitchens do. Looking forward to the new Kimball jawn, Cooks Fucking Illustrated.

Cod Thanksgiving Greenmarket Action

The Union Square Greenmarket on the day before Thanksgiving. It's New Years Eve in the club, Bourbon and Canal on Mardi Gras Day, the culinary equivalent of the Kentucky Derby infield, a fresh and local Altamont. The Gurgling Cod will be hanging out at the Rick's Picks booth, and delighted to a) meet you, b) sign copies of his book, or copies of Goaltender, c) draw a mustache on your copy of Going Rogue, or d) draw a funny face on your squash purchase.

C'est Le boire poupre!

Just like every third Thu in Nov, The Beaujolais Nouveau is here, like it or not. I stand by my sippy straw and 11 friends approach, but mostly, this, and more immediately, this:

 

Renewed thanks to Penny Pascal for realizing my vision.

We, the people (of Waffle House)

It's another one of those Tumblrs where one regards a certain kind of person, skinny, or fat, or whatever. Surprisingly, The People of Waffle House is much kinder to its subjects than its immediate progenitor, People of Wal-Mart. Generally, the folks one sees at Waffle House appear to have been scattered, smothered, and covered by life, but these folks look generally tend towards the reasonably not unattractive. Perhaps the Internet is getting nicer.