THE GURGLING COD

Is Kool Herc at SOBEWFF?

Two recent items demand a little bit of context. It is funny when the Portlandia people do their pretentious chef photo shoot, but don't get it twisted -- Sascha Lyon was dropping this science when Armisen was still playing the funny little drums: 

In other news, Bourdain and the Mrs. show off matching tatts at SOBEWFF. Just like they were a couple of Suicidegirls at SXSW way back in '09 (link SFW, actually). 

Well struck, Domino's

On a brighter note, via dayjob grasshopper Princess Jinx, currently killing it on the Tumblrs from the EU, evidence that even Domino's Pizza, architects of an ongoing shitty pizza blitzkrieg, will occasionally employ someone with a sense of humor (via):

NYT loves a Parade?

Big changes at the NYT Mag. They seem to be dropping most of the things people like, or like disliking. Sad about G-Hef, in particular, who actually quoted the Cod's biological host in a column spanning 17th century radical religious sects and Mike Gundy. Hesser's sometimes entertaining recipe redux thing is done, too. It's not clear what will be left, leading the Cod to suspect that the NYT mag will be phased out and replaced by Parade. In time, I am confident that the Times readership will come to cherish Personality Parade and the antics of Howard Huge as much as they do these features that have been the staple of many Sundays for many years.

But. The saddest part of all is the plea at the end of the final Ethicist column: 

I am sorry to leave The Ethicist but eager to work on “A Question of Ethics,” a program in development for public radio. If you’d like to find out about my next endeavors, please“like” me on Facebook. That sounds so desperately Sally Field, and I don’t mean it that way. Or do I?

Randy Cohen was no Safire or Baker, but it's hard to imagine a less dignified exit. As if you needed reminding, it's shaping up to be just another Guiteau Monday. 

*Did Mike Gundy predict cause the death of print journalism back in 2008? 

NYT loves a Parade?

Big changes at the NYT Mag. They seem to be dropping most of the things people like, or like disliking. Sad about G-Hef, in particular, who actually quoted the Cod's biological host in a column spanning 17th century radical religious sects and Mike Gundy. Hesser's sometimes entertaining recipe redux thing is done, too. It's not clear what will be left, leading the Cod to suspect that the NYT mag will be phased out and replaced by Parade. In time, I am confident that the Times readership will come to cherish Personality Parade and the antics of Howard Huge as much as they do these features that have been the staple of many Sundays for many years.

But. The saddest part of all is the plea at the end of the final Ethicist column: 

I am sorry to leave The Ethicist but eager to work on “A Question of Ethics,” a program in development for public radio. If you’d like to find out about my next endeavors, please“like” me on Facebook. That sounds so desperately Sally Field, and I don’t mean it that way. Or do I?

Randy Cohen was no Safire or Baker, but it's hard to imagine a less dignified exit. As if you needed reminding, it's shaping up to be just another Guiteau Monday. 

*Did Mike Gundy predict cause the death of print journalism back in 2008? 

Why do they hate us?

In these heady days of folks all across the Arab world, like, downloading the Simon Bolivar theme for their Twitter page, and foisting revolution across the continent, and you can't tell if the NPR is telling you about a colonel in Libya* or a governor in Wisconsin, it's hard to remember that Al Jazzeera used to be part of the "them" in the post 9/11 world, rather than the only news source anyone trusts. Seriously, if my religion permitted me to care about college basketball, I'd be checking in w/ the AJ bracketologist instead of the ones on ESPN. But I digress. One of the questions people used to ask (the Cod just got done reading the 9/11 report, so pardon) was "why do they hate us?" (Yes "they" and "us" are problematic, but it's still worth exploring the question.)

One answer to why folks in other parts of the world besides the United States, who do not enjoy our level of material  prosperity, might get mad at us, is the proliferation of obscenely large meals at restaurants that come with the proviso that if you eat it all, it's free.  Toddler-sized burgers, buckets of pho, Wilfork cutlets, etc. Well, someone went to the trouble of rounding them all up, and putting them in one place. If I were looking for a reason to hate the USA, this list would be a good one. And if you have to ask, it is definitely a sign of another Guiteau Monday. 

*Is there anything about Gaddafi's appearance that suggests he would go quietly if someone would just set him up as a gonzo porn auteur in the Valley? Yes, Boston University is running an Elderhostel for ex African dictators, but the Colonel seems like more of a West Coast guy. 

Is that a growler on your downtube....

..or are you just happy to see me? 

From Dan, via Jinx. Not mad at this. At all. 

The grills would turn the color of an avocado...

...when he would drive down the street in his Le Creuset Round Spinach 7.25-Quart French Oven. in an exclusive-to-Crate-and-Barrel color. They call it "spinach," but don't call it a comeback -- it's avocado for reals. Avocado, some readers will recall, was the bombdiggety color for kitchen decor circa the original lineup of the Velvet Underground.* Are there really people who go out and buy new colors of Le Creuset when they drop? In other words are Le Creuset people as big suckers as Beanie Baby people or sneaker freakers? Is there some intersection of person who would pay for, like, the exclusive Le Creuset-Bathing ape colllab? 

This is as good a place as any to make a somewhat heretical suggestion: Le Creuset is not all that for cooking. It is pretty, and statusy, but if you could take one 7.25 quart pot with you into the jungle to feed your insurgents, it would not be Le Creuset -- it is a little bit fussy and a little bit fragile. 

*Not mad at this. Not at all. In other news, the Cod just got these shoes, and together w/ the avocado Le Creuset, they would strike the perfect vibe for an early 1970s key party in Taos. Think Rick Moody cut with Sunset Magazine. Anyway, play us off, Modern Lovers: 

 

Sifton Soundtracks: Al Flori, b/w Wacka Flocka, "Hard in the Paint"

Sifton goes to Al Flori, and really digs it. It does seem like a place easier to admire than to love, and luxury ingredients prepared with flawless technique does not bring out the best in Sifton. (He namechecks William Hamilton, the relentlessly unfnny NYer cartoonist, for Pete's sake.) There is just one opening:

Butter-poached lobster comes with root vegetables and a paint-thick sauce of butter, vin jaune, lobster essence and a jolt of acidity that owes something to the cooking of Jean-Georges Vongerichten. The dish nods respectfully as well to Thomas Keller, who originated butter-poached lobster at the French Laundry in Yountville, Calif. Then it dunks on both of them.

With world enough and time' we'd have an image of Keller and JGV getting posterized, but we'll settle for a song about hard work and excellence popular with at least one basketball team. Here is the non-Celtics in Halloween masks version:

 

Text my food? No, thanks.

It's not Monday, but bad stuff happens the rest of the week. Via Frodnesor, the remarkably terrible Text My Food. If your server happens to be out of sight, you can text your demand for a fresh round of drinks, etc, rather than, you know, wait a few seconds. In addition to being, you know, demeaning, it seems like an idea that needs to go either higher or lower tech: make your waitstaff wear collars, a la those invisible fences for dogs. A patron can send an electric shock (at a harmless voltage!) when they need their coffee warmed up, or whatever. Alternatively, a good dining concept would be the all hassenpfeffer restaurant:

Not. Even. Secretariat.

Antipodean Equine Bukkake? 

Shots of horse semen will be available at the Hokitika Wildfoods Festival in New Zealand next month and will allegedly taste like yummy milkshake.

Yup, that’s right. Adding to Hokitika Wildfoods’ infamous assortment of culinary delights - which range from ram’s testicles, fried scorpions, pig gut kebabs with fresh eel slime sauce and wasp larvae ice-cream – this year the foodie fest will be serving horse jizz.

The day is just getting started, and it is already in the books as just another Guiteau Monday. (Reluctant) tip of the fin to Musing Bouche for the headsup.