Tom Colicchio, what color is your parachute?

It is fun to laugh at the follies of your parents when they were roughly your age. But! For example, at some point in the future, the author and the subject of this article will have to explain to their kids that "curating food trucks" was an actual thing people said they did in 2011. 

If, say, Tom C. had to fill in on guitar suddenly, and I had to take over this responsibility of curation, you better believe that these would be my main criteria:

1) Justified

2) Ancient 

Play us off, KLF: