THE GURGLING COD

Straight A's in not too much rat shit?

So the DJ tells us that 69% of NYC restos scored an A on their health inspections. Hooray! The Cod recalls that restaurateurs were tripping about a letter grade system, on the grounds that customers would be spooked by the non-A grades that many places would get. As it turns out, the problem turned out to be basically the opposite of that. The Cod has chewed on the vagaries of different grading systems before, but it's interesting that the DOH is giving A's out like many humanties profs do. 

Some background: long ago, an A was a grade that indicated outstanding work, work in the top 10% of the class or therabouts. At some point, the goalposts moved, and in many contexts an A became the grade you got for showing up, doing the work, and not making too many mistakes. In my day job, I'm about as guilty as anyone, but I do try to explain that not screwing up does not automatically mean you get the best grade there is. 

By definition, 69% of restos cannot have outstanding sanitation. But, in spite of itself, the system might be working out, if A means "satisfactory," B means "needs work," and C means "you will probably shit your guts out." The only danger is if NYC diners presume that A means "really clean." If they've looked at Junior's report cards from Bennington, maybe they'll figure it out. 

Add Beyonce's Cookbook, or: The shoes on my feet, (I bought 'em) The greens I'm cooking (I bought 'em)

So this throwaway tweet got more traction than any number of things the Cod has put thought and effort into: 

This was The Cod's way of saying that, just maybe, there was not a gaping void waiting to be filled by a soul food* cookbook from Beyonce. If you are African-American, and famous, you are at risk for churning out a cookbook that evokes collards, mac n cheese, etc, that will be very much the same as many similar books by similar celebrities. (The "bistro" cookbook is a similar malady afflicting chefs who become famous.) I will say that Beyonce does her best work when she collaborates with Fugazi, so let's hope that Ian MacKaye is testing receipts for Beyonce's Big Straightedge Vegan Soulfood Cookbook even as we speak.

*Any academic work on this term?

Kinfolk: The casual gathering of good friends will not be televised!

So, this lady asked for a parody of "Kinfolk: A Guide for Small Gatherings." Gastropoda was kind enough to suggest that The Cod was the fish for the job. I took a look, and concluded that to attempt to parody Kinfolk would be like making gravy for Gravy Train. It does it itself. 

I will, however, point out that if lifestyle mags have "manifestos," we can expect that revolutionaries will hire food stylists, and that will be awesome. 

Marshall, TX: Don't tell me this town ain't got no heart...

...when one of the Cod's most discussed cookbook authors of 2011 can hear it beat out loud. Independently, FOC Mr. Sunshine passed this along, as well as a well-placed food media person we can call Not Pottsie. The latter seemed not interested in mentioning names, and I'll play along. The item is here. For a preliminary take, I would be interested in a smart and energetic person with a solid grasp of both literature and technology to write a comparative history of patents and copyright. And I find myself with an unusual penchant for the Grateful Dead's foray into disco....

Identity politics are not for children, or their parents.

So, some burgers and nachos joint in PA banned kids under six, and there is a predictable uproar. Given the clicky-clicky troll-troll nature of everything ever written on the internet about children and restaurants, the headline kind of writes itself:

Should more restaurants ban children?

So, too, does the response:

If we presume that TheYummyMummy (I KNOW, right?) means "minority or marginalized group" by "segment of the population," the argument is something like claiming that not allowing small children in your restaurant is akin to saying "You know what, I've had enough of those Mexicans running around with their stilettos/those WASPS with their mirthless, braying laughter/gays asking for different flatware, etc. - I'm gonna put up a sign and ban them." The difference is that being gay/WASP/Mexican or whatever is not something you grow out of. Being a child is. This resto in PA is not saying "you can't come here," it's saying "you can't come here until you are old enough that you have a reasonable chance of not having a negative impact on your fellow patrons." If the Cod ran a casual dining restaurant in PA*, I don't think I would ban kids under six. Baby humans do not become gracious and charming dining companions if you toss them a can of Vienna Franks and a church key and tell them to go watch Cinemax in the basement. But you can argue the case either way. However, arguing that banning kids is a form of racism is, itself, kind of racist. 

*It would be "Amish Ramen," in Lancaster, PA. 

Wicked Yella Beans

 

Last night, messed around and put up the first produce of the season* during the last 2/3 of Die Another Day.** Yellow wax beans with garlic and kochukaru, aka powdered Korean chilies. Will know how they turned out in a couple of weeks. If you would like a jar,  be the first person to identify the original Wicked Yella, and email the answer and your snailmail address. 

*Some people BUY pickles from a store, but, like, whatever. 

**Some say stupidest Bond ever? Also, the  in obligatory final scene where Bond is holed up w/ whichever heroine survives the movie, Hallie Berry is wearing a sports bra. In bed. Low point for Bond franchise? 

Tony Maws vs. Jared Fogle Battle Royale

So, the Facebooks have a new thing where they ask you to compare places you have checked in at, and vote which is better. In theory, FB generates yet more valuable marketing data about consumer preferences, and while it might work well for, say, a Pat's vs. Geno's throwdown, there are some bugs in the system -- various friends have been asked to compare, say, that once-in-a-lifetime trip to French Laundry to, say, that sushi place in the lobby of your building you get lunch from when it is raining and you are depressed. At times, it amuses the corporeal host of The Cod to "check in" at Subway restaurants when he is not really eating there. Thus, FB asked:

It's a toughie!  Both restaurants are committed to Eating Fresh. Subway gets the nod on price and number of locations but Craigie has a deeper menu and a more ambitious beverage program. What do YOU think? 

Guiteau Monday: I told you these, um, cupcakes were trouble?

As you may have heard, a very talented but very troubled singer died far too young over the weekend. Sad, indeed. Or! Cupcake time! To the Cod, looks like turd + orchid, but they are identified as "Amy Winehouse Tribute Cupcakes."* 

Granted, the Cod is predisposed to be suspicious of cupcakes, but generally speaking, when did "tribute" stop meaning "honoring someone's accomplishments," and start meaning "exploiting another's tragedy"? It was probably on a Guiteau Monday much like this one. 

*Special recognition is due to the humanitarian who was wondering about the Norway "tribute cupcake." As Bubbles points out, the Norway vs. Winehouse arguments on social media are dumber than an Aztec full of Cansecos. 

And speaking of E-Cookbooks: Or, Billionaire software engineers <3 paper?

This box, on the floor of Amanda Hesser's apartment, popped up in my Twitter feed. As you might expect, it contains one of the newly printed (corrected?) copies of Modernist Cuisine. The Cod has raised an eyebrow or three about the entire MC project. (Too lazy for links, but if you Google "gurgling" + "modernist," and skip the Ezra Pound fanfic, you'll find the eyebrows.) Despite my reservations,  MC is pretty clearly the cookbook publishing event of the year(s). In the context of the preceding discussion of cookbook apps for the iPad et al, it is interesting that Nathan Myrhvold, the guy responsible for MC, made his jillions in the software industry, but chose not only print for his big opus, but massive, enormous, unwieldy print. What's up with that? 

Platform Envy: Or, can I get a spoon rest app for my iPad?

So, the dayjob side of the ledger today has been filled with questions about e-books in one form or another, and then a press release about a new electronic cookbook thing from Cookstr, Apple, and Rozanne Gold. From the looks of the cookbooks the Cod actually cooks from, (you could probably make a decent soup out of my Zuni cookbook*) there is very little sense of urgency here about bringing a fancy status symbol (or even an iPhone) into the kitchen. What say you all? 

*A little bit of love for the Bay Area after yesterday.