THE GURGLING COD

Ice Storm-Era Wedding Gift, or Etsy robot?

I would like to take my casseroles to the next level: 

Unknown Pleasures from Disney?

Now and again, a non-food thing will thrust itself into the Cod's consciousness. (Also, not being a foodblogger is one way to come to terms w/ a giant food blog summit happening, like, next door, and not hearing about it until it was underway. The good news is that my piscine alter ego seems to manage these slights much better than his terrestrial sidekick.) 

But, This. For those times when you can't decide between "It's a Small World After All" and "Transmission." WFMU has a handy roundup of past Disney/Nazi collabs, but as far as the Cod is concerned, if you are mashing up the Magic Kingdom and the Third Reich, it's a Junkers JU-87 and a map of California you will be wanting, son. (If Cole Porter sang about Nazis, and did a ton of coke, he would write lyrics like this.)

Guiteau Monday trifecta!

It's a three ring circus of dismay up ins! Without further ado:

1) Vegan poutine. It is a real Thing. Poutine involves three ingredients, two of which cannot, by definition, be vegan. So, it's not a we-can-use-soy-instead-of-fish-sauce-in-this-veggie-curry kind of thing -- it's a Husker Du reunion where Grant Hart tours with Lake and Palmer. Potato Champion, you are doing the Lord's work, by and large, bringing actual poutine to the people of Portland, but please, think of the children. (The menu lists a "veggie gravy" and reliable informants tell me that "soy cheese" is openly available. 

2) Pomegranite Raspberry Michelob Ultra. The Cod says this as someone who is serious as a heart attack about body dysmorphia, eating disorders, etc -- when I see someome drinking a Michelob Ultra, I put them on my worryabout list.* Adding pomegranite and raspberry flavors makes this seem less like a beer, and more like part of a terrible, terrible cleanse. 

3) This. Unpack it yourself, but it's disconcerting to read something that makes you wonder if maybe Caitlin Flanagan was right. 

*As soomeone who works in higher ed, not hard to see evidence of dysmorphia/disordered eating, as a male teacher, nigh-on impossible to address usefully/uncreepily. It's frustrating. 

Do you have a receipt for that receipt?

Interesting comment from Kat Kinsman:

Hmm. I can go two ways here. I can think of plenty of receipts I care enough about to make, and have blogged about, but have not made an effort to make my own. I enjoy reading similar posts from folks I trust-- how was that thing in Wednesday's paper? Well X cooked it and says Y. Where problems arise, I think, is a) when someone appropriates a receipt, changes the proportion of thyme and majoram, and presents it as their own, w/o credit to the source. On the other hand, it's a problem when folks front like they are cooking a published receipt, then evaluate it based on their own halfassed substitutions. The Wed Chef is a prime example. On the other hand, the whole concept of receipts and authorship is complicated -- ask Chris Kimball or the Beastie Boys. 

 

What are Mormons doing in the Times food section?

In fairness, it found the Cod in a fairly grumpy state, but Moskin's piece on the New Mormon Cuisine bothered me a little bit. You may know that one of the frontrunners for the Republican presidential nomination belongs to the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints, a relatively recent Christian sect with some unusual features and a rather colorful history. Some of the more unusual aspects of this church, or perhaps of its history, make some folks uneasy about the idea of a Mormon president. Recently, the Mormons have ramped up an aggressive advertising campaign around the theme of "I'm a Mormon," which seems to be aiming to make Mormonism seem more familiar and less threatening as one of their own is running for President. The timing, indeed, reopens some of the questions about the LDS church's status as a religious, rather than political entity that came up in the wake of Prop 8 in California. 

There needs to be a food section every Wednesday, I guess, but it's hard not to see Moskin's article as participating in the same kind of effort as the "I'm a Mormon" campaign, in that the aim of the article seems to be to make Times readers more comfortable and familiar w/ Mormon culture. In other words, the article will help Romney, to some degree. Some say Bruni had a hand in W's rise to the presidency -- perhaps Moskin can do the same. 

Ham

Via IAFB, a short film about ham:

 

CURED from UM Media Documentary Projects on Vimeo.

A suggestion for Patriots and Giants ownership -- skip Indy and just play in New Orleans

Deear Messrs Kraft, Mara, and Tisch-

Congratulations to you and to the Giant and Patriot families on your conference championships. Both of your franchises have had exciting seasons, and this Super Bowl matchup will have fans buzzing. 

There is some bad news. For your efforts, you have earned yourselves a trip to Indianapolis. Once in a while the NFL chooses to rotate the game out of the usual venues, and play it in a grim and inhospitable Rust Belt stadium. 

But look at all the fun you can have tailgating, as long as you follow these rules!

Nearby dining options include the worst Subway in Indy! A White Castle! Elsewhere in Indy is a "cajun creole" joint. Exactly. 

If you want to go upscale, there is Tavern on South, pushing the culinary envelope with filet mignon meatloaf! 

You see the situation. Indianapolis is a city where people like Asian fusion and McCormick and Schmick. Fortunately, there is a solution. You are people of means, and did not become the men you are by kowtowing to men of small minds and limited imagination. Here's what you do -- rent some jets, fly to New Orleans, and play a game there. Loser agrees to forfeit the Man's Super Bowl. 

In case you have forgotten, one stumble out of the Superdome and be eating like a king within minutes. A Ferdie or a Ralph at Mother's. A meal at Cochon and some snacks at Cochon Butcher. Take a streetcar, and a whole world opens up. Take a cab to Frankie and Johnnie's. Try that new burger place on Freret. Oysters from Acme and Cassamento's Stroll to and from your hotel sipping on an Abita. Get a muffaletta from Central Grocery and hide it in your jacket. Find someone with keys to the Supedome, put a sign on the marquee -"FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP TODAY." Cash-only general admission. Tee it up, play the game and send Rodger Goodell and Indy your regrets. 

You can thank me later, xo, The Gurgling Cod

Chocolate indulgence at Monticello

What the hell people: 

​Straight from the files of "Historical Shit That Can't Be Made Up," we woke up this morning to a pretty unbelievable email from the Thomas Jefferson Foundation with the subject line, "Taste: Chocolate at Monticello."

Yeah. Historical Guiteau Monday, engage! 

On the upside, "chocolate indulgence" did put me in mind of this clip, the which the Cod saw in the theater in 1979. That I did not think it was a big deal suggests that I was more naive or more sophisticated than I recall. 

Mac & Cheese starter

I don't know why they call it Mac & Cheese Starter -- it does just fine by isself. Seriously, it's got a fancyass cheeseeatingsurrendermonkey name, but you could be done making your first batch of bechamel twenty minutes from now. Melt a stick of butter in a pan add 8 tb of flour, stir until light brown, add 3 cups or so of milk, and stir to combine. It will look all weird for a minute, when you add milk, but it will smooth out. add a bunch of grated cheese, combine w/ cooked pasta, and you have got badass mac & cheese. Not. Complicated. 

Paula Deen riding things and encouraging moderation.

It's been almost 48 hours since I challenged Paula Deen, her associates, or fans to come up with evidence supporting her claim that she has "always encouraged moderation." The silence has been deafening, with one exception -- the Paula Deen Riding Things and Encouraging Moderation Tumblr!