Stop, the Yelp you save may be your own?

An interesting post from Eating Ice Cream in the Dark, viz then things they want people to do before they post an online review: 

1. Poach a perfect egg.
2. Make mayonnaise.
3. Whip cream by hand.
4. Make veal stock.
5. Butcher a chicken.
6. Fillet a fish.
7. Grill a steak to medium rare.
8. Bake a yeast bread.
9. Identify a wine’s varietal by blind taste.
10. Host a dinner party for ten without hired help.

The Cod agrees. These are things you should do, and often. But as prerequisites for sharing your opinion about a meal you have spent your time and money to eat? Not so much. At first, the entire post struck me as huffy, and generally assy, viz "

It seems everyone has become a critic.  It’s nearly effortless to pass judgement, publicly, on every dining experience... I ask for very little.  Before you post your next Yelp! review, complete the ten tasks I have listed above.

Heaven knows, The Cod is no fan of Yelp, but geez. It is not necessary to perform the task in order to be able to evaluate how someone else does the task. Only novelists can review novels? Only currently active gymnasts can score gymnastics? Nuh uh.

But! The conclusion goes a long way toward redeeming the post. 

"Maybe your next meal won’t revolve around criticism, but instead a shared sensory experience.  The table will become a place for conversation, intoxication, and rest.  Your dining experience will be enriched by what you have learned.  I promise."

I read this as "if you cook, you will have a deeper enjoyment of what others cook for you." This is totally true. One of the best recent dining expereinces I've had was sitting at the bar at Farm 255 and chatting w/ Whitney Otawka about making bearnaise. Turns out the way my mom taught me, and the way Thomas Keller taught her are quite different. That's not a conversation I can have if I've never made bearnaise myself. 

It might just be me, but conversations between a professional and passionate amateur always remind me of Lance and Kilgore in the chopper.

 

Comments

[Marco Romano]

Agreed, Mistah Kurtz.

[Mvillarcpa]

I've done all but #3, but I have a stand mixer and I'm not willing to expend any unnecessary energy on proving I can do it by hand.

I don't think you need to do all these things to have an opinion on resaurants, etc. You have to take advice from someone trustworthy and consistent. If you're choosing your fine dining visits by the latest reviews on yelp, it's an indictment on you, not the yelp reviewers.

[Eatingicecreaminthedark]

Cod, thanks for reading all the way to the conclusion. I really do think some folks skipped from the opening paragraph straight to the comment field. The structure of the post was intended to be a bit provocative so I suppose I shouldn't complain.

I seem to have successfully communicated my thoughts to you in my conclusion.

I do want to point out that completing the following tasks does not make a chef. That usually takes years, and one must master a considerably longer list of tasks. Most of these tasks are more difficult, more complicated and require more finesse.

Completing these tasks will develop a baseline of knowledge, and perhaps a bit of appreciation for what foodservice workers do every day. I also think knowing a bit about cooking enhances your appreciation of a restaurant meal.

Having worked in restaurants for years I don't appreciate Yelp much.

If someone isn't comfortable making a complaint to someone face-to-face, I think it should tell them something...perhaps this complaint shouldn't be made anonymously online either.

Professional critics worth their salt will not visit a restaurant for a few months after opening, and will always visit a restaurant twice before writing a review. They have professional reputations to consider after all.

I have read Yelp reviews from people who haven't even dined at the restaurant, or are uncertain if they have the name of the restaurant correct. I have read complaints of restaurant owners who have had their restaurants mistaken for similar establishments.

I also think that dining is a bit different than other services that are reviewed on Yelp, and that commenters drew analogies to (one women in a Facebook comment thread drew an awkward parallel to catheterization). Breaking bread to me is about community, about culture, and about pleasure. I bridle when one suggests that at a restaurant they are merely a consumer, when I know from experience that many in the restaurant industry truly and deeply consider them a guest.