The Institution Will Never Love you Back

I am back on my sticker-making bullshit, because circumstances demanded it. "The Institution Will Never Love You Back" is a phrase I think I learned from Pete Coviello, but I am not sure if he originated it. For reasons that are not clear to me, I always imagined it as a variant of the famous PLAY LIKE A CHAMPION TODAY sign all of the players touch when they leave the Notre Dame locker room. Playing like a champion is an important thing to for football players to remember to do. In a similar vein, remembering that the institution will never, ever love you back, because it cannot, and probably would not even if it could is an important thing for people who work for institutions of all kinds, to remember. This goes double for institutions of higher education, because they frequently pretend that they are capable of loving you back. Imagine West Elm Caleb with a hedge fund and a library, and that's what a university is. So, my idea is that you can put one of these on the door of your office/Zoom room/parking space near the Panera with the good WiFi, and give it a little slap when your workday starts to help you remember, and say it with me, the institution will never love you back. 

I made these stickers because I want you to have one, and to give to one to a friend, and stick on a car parked in a spot reserved for people who make a lot more money than you do. They are about 2" x 4", so they could also fit on your laptop, bike helmet, machete holster, your kid's stroller, stand mixer or your dog's water bowl. Drop your address here, and I will send you some. I am not taking money for these, but if you are moved to a kindness to someone else, that is exactly the idea. If there is a free fridge near you, go off! A local tampon/diaper bank is great, too! If you are stuck, here is Free99Fridge, and/or help these nice ladies help get tampons and diapers to people who need them. If you are broke, and just want some stickers, that's also cool. 

I made these in Keynote, because I am an idiot. If you would like to make more of these, make them in the color of your own personal university, or mess with them in any way, have at, and let me know how yours turn out. Here is the Keynote file and a PDF for regular people.

Download Love you back (.key)

Download Love you back (.pdf)

When you get your sticker stuck, please drop me a picture, or use the tag #TIWNLYB - thx.