THE GURGLING COD

Typad, of late, and wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth

The aforementioned overwhelming 2k9 ubiquitiousness of microblogging/social networking may well explain the following skybox that shows up on Typepad now:

"Need exciting new blog topics? Get a dose of inspiration with our 10 Tips for finding new blog topics."

Is Typepad, as a platform, suffering from writer's block? Or is Typepad, as a platform, feeling stranded on the platform at the station while the microblogging/social networking platforms are on the train speeding out of the station? Who knows -- in any case, a blogging platform agitating for more blog posts earns the rare and coveted Slow Jams in the Animal Shelter* tag.
*It's been a while, so to clarify. Slow jams are traditionally what you put on the hi-fi when you want to smooth a special lady or man. Barry White, et al, a tradtionally considered to help frazzled prospective lovers "get in the mood." Stray dogs and cats to not generally need this kind of encouragement to get it on (Marvin Gaye is another good choice), and should not be breeding, anyhow, so SJITAS is shorthand for "unecessary."

Say it with chicken

It's not that there is a new line of chef-themed baskets from 1-800-FLOWERS.
It's not that Steven Railchen is one of the chefs featured.
It's not that one of his baskets is a Beer Can Chicken basket.
It's not that the medium version is $99.99, and the deluxe is $124.99.
It's that neither the medium nor the deluxe includes the two things you need for beer can chicken, namely 1) a can of beer and 2) a chicken.

Mo's Bacon Bar -- not what it seems

First Bacon Whores turns out to be a hoax, and now this. The Trio today roundup showed up in my inbox with something about Mo's Bacon Bar in the subject line. I immediately assumed that some genius had seen the porkaissance that New York seems to be in the grip of, and opened an establishment that would allow one to compress the year-long Onstad baconspiel  into a single evening. I imagined a boom market in bacon sommeliers, and tedious articles about which bacon to pair with which cask-conditioned ale. But no. Mo's Bacon Bar is a fucking candy bar. What Garfield said.

iPhone Recipes!

Unless you've been under a rock for the last month, you know that the iPhone is 2007s must-have gadget! It seems like there's not much these things can't do, and the flood of iPhone recipes suggests there's a spot for this status symbol in the kitchen! To celebrate,  I thought I'd share a few of my favorite iPhone recipes:

iPhone Tempura:

4 iPhones
1/2 c panko
1Egg white

Dipping Sauce
1/2 cup  soy
1/2 cup rice vinegar

Canola oil for frying

Cut iPhones in half, on the diagonal. Dip iPhone sections in egg whites, then dredge in panko. Put 1/2 inch of canola oil in a saucepan, and fry over medium heat until golden brown. Serve immediately, passing dipping sauce separately. Serves 4.

Summer Braise of iPhone

4 iPhones
6 shallots, quartered.
1/2 bottle  white wine, preferably Tariquet.
1 c veal stock
Parsley

Trim iPhones, and place in casserole. Nestle the shallots around,  and cover with the wine and stock to a depth of at least 1". Simmer, over a low flame, until iPhones are fork-tender, and brasing liquid is reduced by half.  Garnish with  Serves 4.

These delicious dishes will have your guests pleading for seconds, but if you If you do have any leftover iPhones, try grating some over a bowl of mac & cheese for a glamorous flavor boost!